The 21/90 rule states that it takes 21 days to make a habit and 90 days to make it a permanent lifestyle change.

I remember when my friend and I discussed substance addiction. I asked him about his stance on it and about addicted persons, noting that they were unable to overcome the addiction. 

“It’s all about choices. If you wake up one day and choose not to be addicted to substances, that’s it,” he said.

When Dr. Maxwell Maltz, an American cosmetic surgeon and author, performed operations such as nose jobs, he observed that it typically took patients around 21 days to become accustomed to their new appearance or to adapt to new situations following the surgeries.

After observing his own adjustment period to changes and new behaviours, he noticed that it also took him about 21 days to form a new habit. Maltz wrote about these experiences and stated: “These, and many other commonly observed phenomena tend to show that it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.”

According to ‘Atomic Habits’ author James Clear, people begin to forget what he has said within a minimum of about 21 days. “It takes 21 days to form a new habit,” he says. 

According to research by health psychology researcher Phillippa Lally, it typically takes over two months for a new behaviour to become automatic – 66 days on average. In Lally’s study, the time it took for individuals to form a new habit ranged from 18 to 254 days.

Calm, a multifaceted meditation, sleep, and relaxation app, states that the interpretation of Dr. Maltz’s observations as a strict rule for habit formation oversimplifies the complexity of creating a habit.

I used to start work right after waking up. However, I realised this wasn’t good for me and I built a habit where right after I woke up, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, made my bed, made coffee, and journalled, writing down four things I was grateful for and a goal which I wanted to achieve in the short term.

Since this was simple enough to do, I was able to build the habit within 21 days and I still continue to do it although I have lost count of the days. If I miss even one day, my day feels unfulfilled. However, this does not necessarily have to be the same for another person.

I spoke to a friend who is a software engineer and an avid learner about his journey of learning Japanese using the Duolingo app. 

“I have been learning Japanese for over 230 days now. The 21-day limit varies depending on the habit, as well as your interest and motivation. For example, I was learning French before Japanese but couldn’t keep it up for more than a month. But Japanese is different for me,” he said.

My friend has noticed that the longer he keeps going and if he is aware of it, the harder it becomes to stop, especially since he doesn’t want to break the long streak.

Lally also states that the time it takes to form a new habit can vary widely depending on the behaviour, person, and circumstances. This is evident from both my friend’s experience as well as mine.

Building a new habit and integrating it into your lifestyle won’t happen overnight; it will take time. You will need considerable patience, resilience, and most importantly, willpower, especially from yourself.

Observing and understanding your current habits and behaviour will assist you in determining which technique or method to use in building habits that enhance your life. The benefits you gain from habits accumulate over time, resulting in improved health, heightened productivity, and a deeper sense of fulfilment.

Of course, there will be instances where you need to break the rules or may be pushed to break them, but those are exceptions.

In terms of choices, when you wake up one morning and choose to jog for an hour every day for the rest of your life, it’s a commitment that you make and follow. Any reasons you give not to do it are merely excuses. It will help if you consistently make the effort to stick to the choices you’ve made.

After all, as Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”

PHOTOS © JAMES CLEAR, CHADD, MEDIUM, POMOTASTIC